Monday, March 9, 2009

The Official PGA "Talent Rankings" - according to Laci Underall

As many of you know, although I am the primary editor of Bushwood CC, I also have a guest editor - none other than the lovely and uber-talented Laci Underall. Laci is not only smoking hot, she is also a great golfer who can hold her own for 18 holes, and then hang with the best of us at the 19th hole - in other words, she is the PERFECT WOMAN. Since Bushwood is a great place for golfers of both sexes, I decided to turn the reins over to Laci for a post - on whatever topic she chose.

Being the kind of woman we all love, Laci has chosen
to "rank the talent pool" on the PGA tour - from a uniquely female perspective.... So for all you female readers out there, here is the OFFICIAL PGA HOTTIE LIST, replete with specific "attributes" that Laci finds appealing (and for the guys, sit tight - Ty Webb and I are working on the LPGA list....ladies first, y'know. So, withou further adieu, I give you Laci Underall....

Laci: "Well Cash, I've put a lot of thought into this and as cliched as it may sound, "Hotness is in the eye of the beholder". I spoke to a number of girls who though my choices were "not up to par" to speak... and I spoke to girls who find extreme sexiness in guys who leave me cold. I mean, since when did Heath Slocum ever make a girl's heart race? I don't know, maybe it's his last name...phuleez. So, before I even start I acknowledge that my hottest guys won't be everyone's. However they're boys who turn me on and I'm perfectly willing to tell you why.

The fourth runner up is:

Camillo Villegas - You knew he'd make the list, but you probably thought he'd come in at the top of it. Not in my book. There's no denying that Camillo is ripped, and he dosn't hide the fact .Those lips! Those BROWS! The HAIR. That smoldering latin gaze...This Columbian Casanova had us at "Hola" with his fashion flair. A man that can rock the White Belt gets two thumbs up in my book. He's the Anna Kournikova of Golf. the fact. But I can't help thinking of him as ...I don't know....fragile? To me Camillo is the type of guy you want to protect and that takes away a bit of his appeal. The fact that he still made the list shows that I'm pretty sure he could make up for that lost appeal in other ways.

Stuart Appleby -
I like my Aussies and Stuart Appleby is one who's often overlooked where hotness is concerned. Sexy , shaggy, blonde bed head . . .Other Aussies get more buzz, well of course you're going to get buzz when you're a serial movie star dater, but Mr. Appleby is the real deal. A warm, rugged everyman who doesn't over expose his social life.

Stewart Cink - Second runner up is another Stewart with a different spelling and from a different continent. Stewart Cink is an old-fashioned American boy with Southern charm to spare. He's tall (6'4") and handsome and seems a perfect gentleman. But he's definitley got a wild side ... so far he's the only PGA player on Twitter. That's pretty daring if you ask me.

Tiger Woods - You didn't think a hottest golf list would be Tigerless did you? I mean, it's TIGER. Nuff said. No way any list of hot guys in any field could NOT include Eldrick Tiger Woods. The competetive nature, the fist pumps, the perfectly tuned body all of those things = major sexiness, but it's more that that. It's because he's Tiger Woods, and I think that's all I really need to say on the subject. Many will say he belongs at the top and I can sure see their point but when something too obvious, it's probably not going to be what we're ultimately "lusting" for.

And the Hottest?'re probably wondering, and many will undoubtedly disagree ...strongly...but the winner, in my book is none other than ...

Sergio Garcia. He has a Tom Cruise/ Richard Gere thing happening that is definitely working for the ladies. No, I don't mean the brat who carried on for years when he didn't win I don't mean "el spoiled, sulky niño". The Sergio I'm talking about...the sexy Sergio.... is the grown up who only actually came to the game in '08. He's not afraid to laugh at himself and he's openly appreciative of his fellow players. His once neon colored outfits have been replaced by darker shades - notably signature black on Sundays. Another reason I'm calling this one for Sergio is that I think, despite a lackluster start, '09 is going to be Sergio's year. The year he wins a major. And I think it's going to happen at Augusta National, my that's just my opinion and I'll keep it to myself. I just know what I know and what I know is that el niño has finally become el hombre and in my book, that's Sexy.

A few Honorable Mentions:
  • Andres Romero-Does Argentina make anything but super studs?
  • Fred Couples-The thinking woman's sex symbol on the green. The bad back makes him fallible, attainable. We want to snuggle . . .
  • Adam Scott- Aussie Aussie Aussie!! Smoking hot. Has a Heath Ledger-esque quality, hopefully sans the nasty drug problem. The guy oozes SEX. What's good enough for Kate Hudson is DEFINITELY good enough for us. We likey!
  • Greg Norman- The Golden Boy of Golf. Come on.
  • Aaron Baddely- A Cougar's delight. This young little bunny is just precious. Just fix that banged up grill and you're in business.
  • Ian Poulter- The NEW Payne Stewart, Ian is like the Alexander McQueen of Golf--a fashion bad- boy. and we LOVE IT. As if we needed ANOTHER reason to check out his pants . . .
  • Luke Donald-the Hugh Grant of Golf. We love his boyish looks and charm. And the painting thing gives him that sensitive -guy thing. Yummy.
  • Retief Goosen- Channels Russel Crowe. Rough Rugged South African looks and . . .I just like saying Gooooooooooooosen with a throaty purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Laci: "Well, that's it, Cash - and I all worn out from this"

Cash: " "Ummm, Laci, you are, er, I mean you look sort of worked up ...

Laci: "Yes, and I think I need a smoke, too"!

Cash: "Ok, Laci - Thanks (thinking she should thank ME) I think that wraps us up here...your work is done"



Jeff Goodman said...

Villegas is # 1. He's a stud in every facet: game, looks, fashion, physique and quiet moxy.

did I really just write that?

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